hedwig, i can't give relationship advice, but i sure can give fashion advice! (haha!). I don't think you should wear a bra w/ a backless top - it does look tacky. go bra-less (wear band-aids - i think johnson and johnson makes this kind where the sticky part is really thin and sheer - sorry guys, TMI?) OR get that strapless bra w/o a back, the kind that tapes on in the front. they sell it at places like windsor's or charlotte russe. hope this helps!